Welcome to the defender podcast, a resource to help mobilize and equip the body of Christ to manifest the gospel to orphans and vulnerable children. This podcast is a ministry of Lifeline Children Services, and I'm your host, Herbie Newell.

It's Wednesday, October 16, 2024. I'm Rick Morton, and this is the Defender Podcast. Well, welcome back to the Defender Podcast. We have the opportunity today to sit down with one of my favorite guests and quite honestly, just one of my favorite people. So I'm gonna get spend a little time with MR Hinton today and we're gonna be talking about moving from frustration to hope, particularly as it relates to our kids learning and their ability to think reasonably and rationally.

And so can't wait to jump into this conversation. If you're a listener who is around with us very often on the defender podcast, you know Ann Mara. She joined the team in August of 2017 and she directs Bridge Educational Services for us. She has been teaching for over 25 years in a variety of different settings with kids with all kinds of needs, which is amazing because she's only 30. So, how in the world she got qualified to teach, you know, 25 years ago, we don't know.

But one of the things I love about Annemara is, she really loves to learn and is looking for new ways to help families. She is my favorite source of a good new podcast. So if I ever, like I just about once a week, I look and she's got it. She either has a book recommendation for me or a podcast recommendation, and I'm thankful. She's a certified cognitive developmental therapist.

She has her master's degree in special education from the University of Tennessee.

Who lost?

She is originally from Madisonville, Tennessee and, she is the wife to Robbie and mom to 3 incredible kids. And that's, you know, some of the best part about her is her family. And, and so, Lamora, I'm thankful you're here.

Yeah. Yeah. I like being 32.

That's it.

Great 30

Don't we all? I don't even I'm very young

and young and young at this point. So Yes.

Well, hey, before we get into our conversation, we wanna talk about Bridge.

Yeah.

And, and so, you know, today, we're having this opportunity to talk about moving kids and families from frustration to hope. But if you're not familiar with Bridge Educational Services, it's a program that's part of Lifeline here that supports kids from hard places who are struggling in school. And that is whether they're in a public school, a private school, if they're homeschooled, we can help anybody and do all the time. Bridge offers 1 to 1 tutoring, educational therapy, consulting for families and kids, but our goal is just to help kids to reach their full potential. And that's not just academic.

It's helping kids to, you know, to be the fully orbed people that God's called them to be. And so, we're concerned about their emotions as much as we're concerned about their cognitive growth. And if you want to learn more, you can go to lifelinechild.org/bridge or you can check it out in the show notes. We'll have all that information there. But, the person that will be on the other end of that contact is Anwar Hinton.

Welcome to the Defender Podcast.

Yeah. Thank you. It's good to be back and just talk all things bridge. I love, that is the heart. Our heart behind it is to really help families navigate this journey that they're on.

Yeah. You know, and we talked earlier off air, but it can be really, really frustrating to figure out how to help your kids. And I think we spend, we spend a lot of time in preparation talking about the behavioral needs of kids, we talk about their emotional needs, we, you know, we unpack a lot of strategies for that. And I think where a lot of families get caught flat footed is then we all of a sudden realize that our kids have to learn

and

that their thinking, honestly

Right. Yeah.

Is impacted and there's consequence based on, you know, the hard things that they, you know, they have lived through.

Yeah. I mean, that's right. I mean, we all know that the different things, the different experiences has impacted us all in different ways. I mean, Karen Purvis talks about the 5 b's that have been impacted by trauma. You know, that's your body, your brain, your biology, your beliefs, your behavior.

And so, you know, those things, we know we're in a messy world. Yeah. We know we're in a broken world. So what do we do now, though? We don't wanna get to stay stuck there.

And so, we're all frustrated by things. We get frustrated by people. We get we get not not you.

Why did

you Not you.

Me when you said that. That's what I wanna know.

But, yeah, there's situations, people, you know, with processes. Sure. I mean, you we've also sat there and, you know, worked through processes, and we get frustrated with ourselves. So what do we do with that though? And I really think that's kind of the heart.

I mean, our families that we work with, there are some hard moments. And we do have that choice, what we talked about before, to choose to stay in that frustration or move towards the hope that we know that we can find. Yeah. And that is there and believing that that's there.

And I think the the thing to point out here is that we don't have to stay in the frustration of the learning difficulties that our kids are experiencing.

That's right.

You know, and folks that listen to the podcast regularly know this is an intensely personal thing for me, for us, because we've walked through this with our kids. And, you know, and I liken it to, I think, I don't think she would mind me sharing this, but our, our oldest came home to us at 14 from Ukraine. And I have such deep admiration for her because she came into an unfamiliar culture. She didn't know she didn't know the language. She didn't know the customs.

She didn't understand the way things functioned here. She was thrown into a to a really unknown situation.

That's right.

And it was terribly frustrating at points. It was frustrating not to be able to have the words to say what she wanted to say. It was frustrating not to, you know, not to know how to go about doing something that she knew how to do and had done it for, you know, years as a teenager, but America was different.

Right, yeah.

Well, here's the observation I would make about a lot of families. I think we prepare so much to understand our kids and understand, you know, where they've come from and understand what they need, but I think something we don't really process until it happens is then we have to translate that into a school environment. And for most of us, we don't understand that environment.

That's right.

We don't speak that language. Mhmm. We don't have the the tools. There's a there's a whole system and a whole culture that exists. Mhmm.

And what we want is we want the best for our kids. We want them to, you know, we want them to be whole, we want them to achieve, we want them to, you know, do all the things that are necessary for them to grow, to be the people that God has fashioned them to be, and we don't know how to help that. Yeah, Yeah. And sometimes we don't think the system's helping it very much either.

That's right.

Yeah. When that leads to a ton of frustration.

Yeah. Well, and that's I've I've actually gonna ask you and if Denise were sitting here too, just because knowing, you know, you guys did volunteer for this hard moment. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

You volunteered knowing that you were walking into, you know, some difficult situations and challenging, challenging things to come up. So, like, how how did you and Denise, you know, together, how did you guys how did you guys find hope in that frustration?

Yeah. You know, sometimes not really well. I'll be I'll be honest with you. Yeah. You know, I think there were, you know, there were those moments where, in the midst of it, we, you know, we kind of felt lost and alone and felt like we didn't have, you know, the tools or have what we needed.

And it's like in those moments where your faith really gets tested. Mhmm. You know, do you really believe that God called you to do what he's called you to do? Do you really believe that God is, you know, that God is able and and that, you know, that that he can do and he can accomplish those things that, you know, he's he's set about and purposed in your heart to do. And and so, yeah, I think the the reality is there can be immense, not even just frustration, but just plain out discouragement in, you know, in the midst of this.

But I think I think also there is, like, we have a choice. Mhmm. And we have a choice about our faith. We have a choice about our belief. We have a choice about our actions.

We have a choice about all those things.

We like choices.

We do. Yeah. And and, you know, and that's and we hear that, you know, like in the things that we train families to do and even helping kids overcome trauma and overcome neglect and all these things is helping our kids to be able to know that they're empowered and that they have choices. Well, we need to recognize as parents that we're empowered and we have choices and we are not helpless. That's kinda what caused us to birth this idea of Bridge.

Right?

Right. Yeah. I mean, that's that's our goal. When I, you know, sit down and talk to our our Bridge team, I mean, we talk about what it looks like to see our families

Yeah.

And to really to to help them to know they're not alone

Mhmm.

And that there is there is hope and we can point you in those directions, you know, and we we and give you choices to look at and offer that. I mean, it is our goal to point the point our families and our kids towards a hope in the midst of those challenging situations that we've talked about, those frustrating situations. And, you know, we do that in a multiple ways, but I I do wanna just highlight the the parents in this as well too. I mean, they, being willing to step out and say, hey, this does not look like I thought it was gonna look. Right?

And and once we wake up that morning and go, oh, wow. But but at the same time, that's what's amazing is, again, you know, you weren't afraid to you and Denise were not afraid to step into that and admit that truth and then also look for ways to move forward, that choice to move forward and not to get stuck, you know.

And and hope is a choice on some level, you know. And there are there are things that we can do Mhmm. That lead us toward hopefulness. And we keep talking about this because our whole theme at Bridge, when we establish Bridge Educational Services to do, is to really walk with families, to be a guide to families on that journey from frustration to hope. And so we believe fundamentally that God didn't call you to parent a child that came from a hard place or to walk alongside a child that came from a hard place to stay frustrated.

That's right. Yeah. Done. Absolutely. I mean, I love the passage and I go back to it often in that Romans 5, 1 through 5 passage where, you know, it says that you have been justified by faith.

We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus. Through him, we have also obtained by faith into his grace in which we stand and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. But then the rest of those verses next, it talks about rejoicing in your frustrations, in your suffering, but it starts with that, but it ends in hope. It's a journey. It's that endurance produces, perseverance, perseverance produces character, character produces hope.

And so, I mean, it's a process. It takes time. It's not a magic fix. I wish we could meet with a family, you know, or children and it would be the magic pill that makes it all go away. But that's not what scripture teaches us about this journey.

There's no

there's no magic pill that's gonna help our kids to, you know, think more clearly or effectively I

mean, that is heaven.

Better decisions.

That is Jesus and that is heaven and but it is a process. And it's, you know, one thing I learned from my 2 of my kids, who did this crazy long hike called the Appalachian Trail, they taught me that, you know, that not only was this 2,200 mile hike a physical journey, but it was a spiritual and mental journey as well. So it's it's a holistic, and that's how what Bridge sees this as when we meet with families and children. We see it as a journey, and we look at it from a holistic perspective. The other thing that they taught me in this hike was that never to quit on a bad day, you know?

And boy, there was some bad days they had on that trail with snow, ice, rain, but we all face those hurdles and those humps Yeah. And the journey. Yeah. But don't quit on a bad day. Yeah.

And so yeah. So that's the the hope that we hope to constantly be handing our families and the kids that we serve Yeah. Is those those things. I remember there was a Super Bowl commercial. I don't know if you remember this.

Years ago, it was Toyota Mhmm. Commercial. And at the end of it, it's about adoption. And at the end of it, the mom says, you know, it's going to be hard, but it will be worth it.

Yeah.

And I just oh, you know, Bobby's like, hey. You wanna see him cry? I mean, you know, come watch this commercial with her because that's what it is. It's we're gonna wanna cry. Yeah.

You know? It's gonna be hard, but, but don't quit on a bad day.

And some of the hard is, like, your kids are just they're struggling in school. They're not

That's right.

You know, they're not they're not getting those those basic concepts that you, you know, that that they should be. They're off time in, you know, in their learning or their development. And here's the frustrating part. The frustrating part is having been there is when all the strategies and all the things that are available to you, like they don't really seem to work.

Mhmm. Right.

And so you're stuck. Mhmm. And like, what do you do in stuck? And I think that's the thing that we want to try to address as bridge. Yeah.

We want to come alongside families that are stuck. They're mired in frustration. They don't feel like they're getting good answers. They don't feel like they're able to have a good plan.

Right.

They know that their kids have potential, but that potential is not being unlocked. Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, I used the word earlier. I said, you know, we want to be a guide to families.

We want to be a guide that that walks through on this journey toward hope.

Right.

Well, so let's talk really practically. Yeah. What are the things that you and and the Bridge team do Mhmm. In order to come alongside a family that's experiencing that sort of frustration? What are some of the building blocks and some of the things we put in place Sure.

To help guide them along the way?

Yeah. Yeah. That's a great question because that's I mean, I, you know, I love the practical side of everything. And so, so one, you know, one way in which, with the kids that are in school, let's just take kids to the school to start with, you know, that have you've you've just kinda trying to figure out what's going on, you know, what's going on underneath that behavior. And, you know, yes, there are lots of diagnoses out there, but what do you do to move beyond the diagnosis?

I think that's the real question.

And

so we take, we have a holistic type screening process that we're gonna look at, you know, motor sensory skills. We're gonna look at, relational, emotional regulation type skills. We're gonna look at cognitive skills, and we're gonna use that information to build and to figure out, like, what really, you know, what is that child's strengths? What are some of those those areas that a child could be stronger in or weaknesses that we can work to strengthen? And we believe science has taught us.

We love our, you know, 21st century science. It's taught us that the brain can change. And so what can we build? What kind of plan can we build to help you as parents, teachers, even meeting with educational tutors or therapists to be able to help to open up those pathways in the brain, to strengthen that cognitive core so that it might impact that academic core later on. And so that's real practical.

It kinda sounds a little education. Well

but I'm gonna let me let me let me take a shot. I'm gonna take a shot at kind of an analogy here. So, one of the things that I'm walking through right now is, like I've got a hip issue and I've done some physical therapy for that. And so what did they do? Well, the first thing that they did is I went in and they didn't just give me a bunch of exercises.

They the first thing they did is they wanted they wanted to figure out where I was weak and where I was strong. Mhmm. And and they wanted to do things that were gonna maintain the strength, but they wanted they wanted to focus on exercising the areas to build strength in the places where I was weak.

Right.

And and so that's kind of what we do

That's exactly what we do.

With kids is and and so this is, like, when you think about it, like, we really want to kind of demystify this. Mhmm. This is not some kind of, you know, like

Market science.

And it's yeah. Right. It's it's and it's not, you know, some hocus pocus thing either. Right? Like, it's it's it's very purposefully playing games, doing actions for, you know, getting kids into places where they're going to use physical movement and other things.

But it's about positioning their brains to to put them in a place where they will build cognitive strength. Mhmm. And so just like, you know, you might take a dumbbell and and do curls and try to build up your biceps.

Right.

This is like curls for your brain.

It is. Yeah. I like that. A marathon for the brain. Yeah.

Yeah. And

but it's but it's done in a way that's fun. It's done in a way that's engaging. And but the thing is, like, just like when we exercise our body Mhmm. The kind of things that you're doing with kids, they, you know, we see games. Right?

Yeah. And and it's great because, you you mentioned this. We do this through play.

Right.

You know? And so we know that play is a great fertilizer for the brain. Right? We know that it builds connection, which is is key for our kids, and we know that it creates felt safety, which is key for our kids to be able to be able to receive that and be able to take that and then use it and continue to build up that brain. So we're we're disarming some fears so that we can get to that point and really dig a little bit deeper and move them towards strengthening those, what we call, lagging skills or skills they're missing.

So, yeah, I think that's a great way to look at it. So, yeah, we do that with, with our screenings, with our bridge screenings and our bridge plan. Another way in which we were used as a guide is through the IEP and the 504 process for families that have kids that are in navigating that with the school systems and just helping families to know what questions to ask and what it means to be, like, in a meeting with, you know, several different professionals who are all really their goal is to find what works

Yeah.

For those kids. They want they want the best for the kids. They may not know how to explain it all the time or, you know, what that looks like, and parents may not understand that. And so we just want to help parents to understand what that's gonna look like as well too.

Well, you know, like, that's an intimidating process.

Oh, yeah.

If you're not familiar with the IEP and and 504, you know, plan environment, I mean, you're going into a very well defined process. IEP, by the way, means individualized education plan. Right? Plan? I got the p

right? Okay. Good. Good.

Just checking out. Make sure I didn't forget. And so part of the frustration, quite honestly, is that as a parent is walking into that environment and feeling like that there's nothing we're doing that's actually individualized at all.

That's right. Yeah.

You know, many times it feels like we're it's all about the paperwork and it's all about the process and it's all about getting the boxes checked and, you know, making sure that, you know, the legal things that need to be done are done and all that. And I think what a lot of parents don't understand about that process is that as parents, we're part of a team of people that are coming around to make sure that the goal is met, which is that our we'll put a plan together that fits our kids so that they're getting the resources that they need, they're getting the opportunities they need in order to be able to, you know, to achieve. And part of what is difficult in that sometimes is, just frankly as a parent, is you kind of are convinced that sometimes the people that are around the table with you don't really understand all that really is important and all that's going on with your kids.

Right.

But the beauty of the opportunity that God gives us, even in the midst of that IEP, is that when we get the opportunity to sit down and make a plan like that, we as parents are the ones who are sitting at the table to be our kids' advocates.

That's right. Yeah. And and isn't that beautiful to be able to advocate for your kids and know why you're advocating for them as well? You know, if you don't come from this educational world, you may not know, you know, what that looks like and just need some help in getting there. And so it's been a real joy to watch families, build in with their confidence in walking into meetings like that, and just that their awareness of what their services can be.

Sometimes we're unaware of what the services are that are out there. It's been a joy to watch that.

Well, I've you know, I have a special relationship with one of the people that does that IEP consulting. So, you

know Yeah. Yeah. It's Denise.

Special special 30 3 year relationship. You know, and and so but one of the, you know, getting to see that up close and and, you know, getting to see some of the work that that she does, and and I know, you know, you do the same thing when you're working with a family or other folks that do this. But what's really been fun in that is is watching her be able to coach parents and moms and dads being in the place where they're the ones who actually are able to go in and sort of stand up and advocate, you know, for their kids. And the thing is, like, I think as parents many times in those environments, we have a gut sense that what's going on is not exactly right.

Mhmm.

Like, it's not exactly helpful.

Right.

But we don't know what to ask for. We don't know how to ask for it. We don't know what's appropriate or what's even possible.

Yeah.

What our Bridge, you know, our Bridge folks do in that sense is they come alongside to help you understand that and to coach you. And the truth is that we'll even, like, we'll go with

you. Yeah.

That happens a lot where, you know, because families have the ability to be able to invite someone in to be part of their team and to advocate. And so we, on the regular, send people into IEP meetings and do that.

And what fun it is for us to be on fun. You know, I'm all about play and fun, and I know those meetings don't aren't always fun. But, but it's really neat to be able to be one of those people in those meetings and actually see the parent be the one asking the questions. And you end up just kinda sitting back and watching and giving the thumbs up. Yeah.

You know? Hey. You're on the right direction. Or sometimes you may even say, hey. Might wanna ask about this.

Yeah. Or hey, see about see about this. But it's really the parent that's doing the advocating for that child. You're you're basically the cheerleader. You know?

And what's what's kinda true about that environment, I think, is sometimes I think we can set, you know, we can set it sort of set this up as an adversarial sort of

thing. Right. Yeah.

And it I don't think it is.

Mm-mm.

Like, I very rarely have I, you know, have I ever known about a situation where there was, you know, anybody was doing anything purposive

Mhmm.

To do, you know, the reason teachers and administrators and people are there is because they because they wanna help. Yeah. But I think they feel as confined by the process as anybody does.

Right. Yeah.

And and there's this kind of this illusion Mhmm. That exists over the process that, like, the thing that's important is is the process and the paperwork and the and and the plan and all that. And what we try to help you do is be in the position where we put the focus on what's really important, which is your child and your child's needs. And it's been my experience that, you know, sometimes when we go out and advocate the right way, what we do is we kinda help everybody to have a sense of really seeing the hopefulness in the situation.

Yeah. And I mean and that's another way in which we hope to be able to continue to partner alongside of schools. I mean, how many IEPs we have been through, but then also come back to be able to offer that school a CU in trauma informed care or, you know, or help the school to understand kids from hard places, you know. And so it's a it's a beautiful, you know, relationship there as well too is to be able to go they they realize, hey, this that that's right. You know, they really do want what's best for the child when you kinda refocus them on what is important.

Yeah. Yeah. For sure. You know, and I think maybe the the last thing, just that that we wanna make sure that folks know that we do, in all that is we, you know, we come alongside families and we help you understand the situation, we help you with, you know, with tutoring and kind of doing that weekly exercise with your child. We, you know, we'll help you to help set the school environment in a way that that helps.

But then we also are prepared to come alongside your church Mhmm. And and to help your church to really kind of create a productive environment as well. And we do that with Camping Power, which we do in the summer Yeah. Which is your probably your favorite thing. I know I know I know I know you're like it's like your children.

You're not supposed to say you have a favorite, but I kinda think you have a favorite.

I do. I love Camping Power. I love the fact that at camp, we get to to equip the church, really, to come along side, like you just said, with tools and strategies to implement everything we've been saying, like the exercise, you know, of the brain, the movement, you know, why is that important, and really to advocate for these kids and using some of these tools and strategies in a fun day camp environment. Mhmm. Yeah.

And our goal there is really just to equip the church with those same tools and strategies that we're talking about in the educational therapy sessions, you know, with the schools so that they can also implement them in the church environment and through the church culture and, and get used to being around kids that may have a little bit of, you know, some challenging behaviors and help families to be able to come to church that maybe wouldn't have come to church before, you know, because their children have specific special needs or or, you know, different things like that. So, anyway, yes, I love Camping Power. And, yeah, if your church is at all interested in hosting a 3 day camp where the kids are being equipped, where we're equipping camp buddies to also walk alongside those campers, we would love to talk to you.

Because part of what Camping Power is about is we don't just, like, barnstorm in and do a 3 day day camp and leave. Right. It's about teaching your church how to do this so that you can keep doing it into the future.

That's right.

And I think, you know, as a as someone who's, you know, served as a pastor, I think the question the question I have is when I hear something like this is like, that's great, and it's, I want to help the families in my church, but but I'm also like, what's the gospel significance of what we're doing? Well, the gospel significance is, and 1, we're we're valuing image bearers of God. And we're saying that, you know, these kids are important and that, you know, despite their challenges or despite their needs, they're worthy of love, they're worthy of dignity, they're worthy of respect. And our church is gonna do something to try to lean in to help. Right.

The other thing we're saying is is that we recognize that there are families that are in our community that need this and they're isolated and they don't have a way to get it.

Mhmm. That's right.

And so we as a church offer this help and we want to be the ones to offer it, not the school, not somebody else. Those are all good things. We want to offer it because we also want to offer them Jesus. And so, you know, and how many stories do you have over the years of families that were far, far, far from the gospel? Right.

Who came near to Christ because they came near to the church because the church offered them an opportunity to be able to do something good for their kids.

That's right. And even just even seeing those, oh, the stories. You're so you're so right. I could tell so many stories. But but, just seeing those kids loved and served, even if it's just for 3 days, you've planted seeds in their life, that they are seen, they are known, they are loved, and they are safe with you.

And what better place than the church to be seen, known, and loved, when you are coming from a difficult situation. Yep. And so, you know, I can't help but bring my favorite author in, doctor Kurt Thompson. You know, his his statement says, you know, we all come into this world looking for someone looking for us. And so that, that that's what camp is about.

We're we're coming we're we're asking the church to step in and look for these kids and these families that really need somebody to see them

Yep.

And love them. And so I have a one one quick story.

Yeah. No good.

One little guy, you know, had some behavioral challenges, challenging behaviors 1 year at camp. He, had transitioned back to be with, you know, his mom, and, he had a really rough day at camp 1 1 year. And, he did everything possible to get out of camp. I mean, he was definitely in that flight mode and may have even, you know, used few words to describe his his his feelings about camp. But, you know, the whole time we were working through that with him, we were saying you are loved and you are safe.

Mhmm. You are loved and you are safe. And and we're not leaving you. Yeah. We're we're in this with you.

We're just like those parents. We we're stepping in and we're we're in this with you. The next day he came to camp and he we had done a little, exercise of the bully in your brain, what that looks like, and then what it looks like, what how God sees you and how your buddy sees you and just renaming, you know, that that brain, renaming that, that that thought or that lie that you had about yourself. And he had drawn a picture and everything. Anyway, we get in there the 2nd day and he comes up and he says, you know, I had a bad day yesterday.

And I said, well, God's mercies are new every morning. You know, we are this is a new day. You know, we're and he he called us over to look at his picture of who God had made him. And he said, yesterday, I was that guy. And he pointed to the bully in his brain.

You know? He said, but today, I really I wanna be this guy. And we're like he goes, and would you help me? And, we were like, oh, amen. Yes, we are.

You know, here's your buddy. We are all in, buddy. And he went on, we were we were good buds the next couple days. You know, and unfortunately, his mom made some choices, that we don't know where he is, this little guy is today. Mhmm.

But we know that that church and his buddy and our staff loved that guy. And he was loved and he was seen and he was safe for 3 days. There's those seeds were planted that day.

Mhmm.

And we may never know what happens to that little guy. But we do know that he those seeds were there and and that he was loved and he was safe for for a good 3 days.

Yeah.

And so that I always think of Camping Power in that way as well too as equipping the church to be able to really see kids from hard places.

Well, and I think, you know, I I say this every time we do, you know, we do Rooted in Love and and work with our prospective adoptive families. Part of the challenge in all this is is that so many times our kids are their brains are working overtime just to try to like create their own safety.

Right. Yeah. That's good.

And it's from a deep seated underlying belief, whether they can articulate it or not, whether they can say that they know this is true, that they have to keep themselves safe because nobody else is gonna help them be safe. And I think part of what I love about what we do in Bridge is we help families to understand how to change the learning environment so that kids feel safe and so that they can then operate on that safety in a way that their brains aren't preoccupied.

Right.

And that they really are, you know, making up for some lost time and they're doing some things that that we wish Yeah. Had been done differently.

Right.

But they're not. And and, you know, and that's that's maybe the other thing that I this is not a magic bullet. We're not telling you that if you, you know, you give us 60 hours of your time or if you do an IEP or you do these things that we, you know, that we're talking that like your child is gonna be, you know, a Rhodes Scholar or, you know, they're gonna, you know, they're gonna be a National Merit Scholar or something like that. But what we see over and over and over again is kids that move from inability to ability. We see kids that grow in their learning.

They grow in their ability to reason. They grow in their ability to be able to regulate their behavior Mhmm. And to, you know, do things for themselves that they they weren't previously able to do.

Right.

But the biggest thing is we see kids and families that walk away from this experience believing that they can continue to do that with the tools to be able to continue to build on that themselves. Mhmm.

You know,

we talk about moving from frustration to hope. What we see a lot is moving from from hope to greater hope and families that, you know, feel like they have the tools to be able to do that. And so I, we desperately, like, I'm not going to play. We want you to reach out to us. We want you to, you know, we want

you to

to give it a shot because we think the tools that we have can really help. And so if you're, you know, if you're a mom or a dad and you have a child that's having learning struggles, and a big part of that is tied up in your child's inability to really be able to regulate their feelings and their emotions and know, for them to really just kinda relax and and be able to learn. Mhmm. And if maybe even learning is part of what's causing the frustration.

That's right. Yeah. I mean, and that's it's interesting. I I just had a conversation, just this morning with a mom who, you know, she she was mentioning to me that dyscalculia, which is a math issue, her son had been diagnosed with dyscalculia. And she's like, I'm not sure what that means.

And I that's I get that question quite a bit. And I said, well, you know, let's look and see if we can figure out what's underneath the dyscalculia.

That's right.

Okay? And so, you know, so part of our screening process is looking at, you know, visual motor processing skills, which that's that's one of those cognitive skills. But a lot of times, that's what is linked to math issues.

Right.

And so what can we do to strengthen those visual processing spatial issues in the brain through play that is gonna impact his ability to do math? Well, so he would start to do math and he would just shut down.

Right.

And either he goes in, he wants to get away. I mean, in the classroom, this is how I see it. If they don't when they get to something that they get frustrated and stuck in, if they wanna get away from it or fly, they raise their hand and they need to go to the bathroom. Right. Or they need to get a drink of water or they need to sharpen their pencil.

You know, do we use pencils anymore? But, and then, but if they freeze, they just go quiet. You know, they're the kids that are kinda falling through the cracks. You think they're getting it, but they're not getting it. Of course, the fighters are the ones that are gonna be a little bit more.

We recognize the fighters. They're they're they're easy to spot.

They're easy to spot. But, you know and so you're like, what about math made him flip his lid Right. You know, into one of those, you know, those behavioral responses. And so we wanna try to figure out, well, what is it? What cognitive skill might have been a piece of that or impacted that?

Because here because here's the here's the real punch line of this. Math ain't the problem.

Math is not the problem. That's right.

And and, yeah, and and I think that's where that's where, as a parent, we get tied up in the middle of the diagnosis. We get tied up in the middle of of the the naming of what the thing is that our child struggles with or the thing they can't do. And that becomes a label for them, it becomes a label for us. And what we really want to do is we just want to come alongside and say, no, that's not really the label. That's not your child's identity.

That's right.

But there is something that we need to uncover. Yeah.

And we can work on it.

Right. And when we uncover it, just like, you know, back to the analogy about you know, the physical therapy and going to the gym, when we uncover it, what we start to do is we start to we start to exercise Right. And and we start to we start to build strength.

Yeah. Like, earlier here in the office, one of our coworkers has a game set up in his office. And so, you know, of course, I'm fascinated with games.

Absolutely.

You know?

Absolutely.

And so we're playing the games. I said, do you guys wanna know which cognitive skill you're working on and strengthening right now and playing this

To which I said no because I don't want you to take all the fun out of it for

me. But we can have fun with it as we build those, those cognitive skills.

Well, that's and that's part of, you know, just as we as we kinda wind up, I think that's part of what is helpful for, you know, folks to know is that, so much of what is necessary to help our kids really just is pretty enjoyable for them.

Mhmm.

Like, not always. Yeah. You know, like, sometimes sometimes we have to do some things that are, you know, hard things. Social media. But we generally find a way to even do those hard things in a way that is in a way that's fun and engaging.

Building that connection. Right. Getting back to that, you know, felt safety, that connection. Absolutely.

And we wanna help you as parents be able to learn how to do that too.

Yes. Yes.

And so it's not just about building a relationship with, you know, somebody who does a screening for you or a tutor or somebody coming alongside your family. We want to help you as, you know, as mom and dad learn to do that as well, so that you kind of become the go to. And how about, you know, how about the absolute hallelujah moment when things like homework time don't become the center of your universe because of, you know, because of fight, flight, or freeze. Right. Those are the times where that's the that's the place where you go, wow, we

That's the win.

We won. We got like, we gained some ground and and we just know that's possible. And so, so, Amar, remind everybody if they're going to reach out to you, about a screening or, you know, getting a bridge plan or - and by the way, the bridge plan is just a document that tells you kind of what to do. It's sort of the road map.

Yeah. It's the road it's a place to start. You know? It's not an IEP with it's a little bit it's different than that, but it is it gives us a guide, to where to start to strengthen. It's our exercise plan.

There you go. It's your it's your gym.

That's right.

It's your, it's your physical fitness coach.

And, and and, you know, and so it might be that. It may be that, you know, you want somebody to help you with an IEP. But whatever it is whatever it is that you need or if you think you need something that we haven't said, like, we'll we certainly wanna hear what would be helpful to you. But if they wanna find you, they wanna understand how to how to learn more where where they need to go.

If you go to the website, that would be the first place to start.

Lifelinechild.org.

And you go to the tab that says CR Services. Yep. And on that tab, press that tab, and you will scroll down to the bottom, and it says Bridge Educational Services. Mhmm. You will tap that.

There's an inquiry form there so that you can just put in your information and, either myself or Elena, who is my coworker, she we will be back in touch with you. We'll get back in touch. We set up an intake call and go from there.

There you go. It's it's simple as that. Simple as that. It doesn't cost a dime. Mhmm.

It's easy to do. I'll even give you a faster way to get there. Lifelinechild.org backslashbridge.

That's okay.

If you go if you just put backslash bridge on our main URL, our main address there, it'll take you right to that page to be able to fill out that inquiry form. They'll - and that'll get straight to Amara or Alaina, who is delightful. And, and they'll be, you know, they'll be glad to carry on that conversation. Well, Amara, as always, is fun.

It's been fun.

I know. I can't believe it. We've made it through another defender podcast, and I haven't had to jump on one foot while reciting the names of president or anything.

If we were on YouTube, I'd have you do some exercises. But

Well, you know

Maybe next time.

I know. I know. I know. But but here's the thing, like, it works and and that's why we love it. So, thanks for joining us again on the Defender Podcast.

We we just want to be here to help and to serve and and we believe that ultimately God has has given us the call as believers to, you know, to to come alongside kids from hard places and families that love them and, you know, families like ours. And so we want to help. We want to help your church in that as well. And so, you can find a ton of resources at lifelinechild.org. Our website, we'd love to hear from you.

You can communicate with us by the email address infolifelinechild.org. If there's some way we can help you or come alongside, please let us know. We'd love to hear your feedback about this podcast and also we'd love to hear about ways that we might be able to do things through this podcast that would be of interest to you and would be of help. So, I'm Rick Morton, thankful again to be with you again on another edition of the Defender Podcast. And until the next time, we we just remain hopeful about, knowing that, that the Lord has has given us ultimate hope because of what he's done in Jesus.

Amen.

Thanks for listening to

the Defender Podcast. If you enjoy making this podcast a part of your partner with Lifeline, visit us at lifelinechild.org. If you want to connect with me, please visit herbynewell.com. Follow us at Lifeline on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter by searching for Lifeline Child. You can email us directly at info at lifeline child dot org.

Beloved, will you allow god to use the gospel to you to impact the life of a child? Please contact us because we are here to defend the fatherless. We'll see you again next week for the Defender podcast.