Welcome to the defender podcast, a resource to help mobilize and equip the body of Christ to manifest the gospel to orphans and vulnerable children. This podcast is a ministry of Lifeline Children Services, and I'm your host, Herbie Newell.

It's Wednesday, December 18, 2024, and doctor Rick and I are coming to you from Birmingham, Alabama. Well, as we look forward to next week into Christmas day, There is so much to celebrate as we talk about Christmas as believers, but also in a ministry that cares for the fatherless. There is no better time than Advent both to know the needs of the fatherless and to meet those needs during this season. So much of Advent is the coming, and so many kids are waiting for the coming of permanent, so the coming of family or the coming of belonging. But, also, as we look at this season, we really do celebrate that even in the Christmas story is wrapped up adoption, caring for the vulnerable.

Here you have Mary, a a teenage mom who is in a unplanned pregnancy. Yes. It was planned by the father, but unplanned by Mary, and yet Joseph, her betrothed, brings her in, loves her, cares for her, goes against the norms of society, stands in the gap for Mary. And so many times we can see this Christmas story even as a mandate of our action and the way that we're called to care for the fatherless, for the vulnerable, the vulnerable woman, the vulnerable child, and the vulnerable family. Well, doctor Rick and I are so grateful to be together this week before Christmas day to really talk through Christmas, the things that we have to look forward to, maybe even we'll be able to hear some pearly wisdom from the silver haired one, doctor Rick, on how to care well for your kids during this turbulent season that that is exciting, but also is a break from the norm, a break from the norm of every day for so many of our kids that look for and crave normalcy.

Before we do bring on the infamous doctor Rick, I wanna remind you as we wrap up 2,024, I wanna invite you to be part of Lifeline's year end campaign. It's a chance to change lives, 1 child, one family, and one future at a time. Right now, there are a 153,000,000 orphans worldwide. Families searching for stability and women facing unplanned pregnancies who need hope and support. Your gift can make a real difference in the lives of children and families.

Will you join us in this life changing mission? Visit lifelinechild.org backslash donate. Again, that's lifelinechild.org backslash donate to give today or see our show notes for direct link. Well, it is that time of the podcast where we have the opportunity to bring on the silver haired, silver tongued one, the one that has signed more autographs than any other Christian orphan care prognosticator, and the one that is, going to lay down the pearly wisdom. Doctor Rick, grateful to be together, and and what a great topic for us to be able to talk about Christmas, the excitement surrounding, and and really the coming, the first coming of Christ, but also what we're eagerly waiting for the second coming of Christ.

Ernie, you you

set me up so well with, you know, such a such a deep spiritual introduction, and I was just sitting here thinking, as the one at Lifeline who is most often mistaken for Santa Claus, that it's probably I feel oddly qualified at this point to to speak on the topic of Christmas. This is not a joke. This actually happened. There was a child who was in our offices the other day, you know, that our playroom in our therapy suite here is which was graciously provided for us by our friends at Show Hope is right down the hall, right outside my office here and I have a glass door on my office door, and there was a child that was in here last week, I was working with several folks here in my office and I looked up and there was this little girl who was just looking through the door and she looked and she walked away and she looked and she walked away and she looked and she walked away and we figured out that she thought she might be looking at Santa Claus. And so here we are.

So I feel like I should say ho ho ho.

But If we had you on the north side of the building, then we could say you were at the North Pole.

I feel like, you know, my my I will return my Facebook profile picture to the picture of me next to the Coke can with Santa Claus here very soon. But, no, bro, I think, you know, when we get to this time of the year, the the real challenge is many times to focus on Jesus in the midst of all the Santa Claus and in the midst of all the hoopla and the hubbub. And, you know, and we've talked many times on this podcast about the challenge that that brings for families that have built their family through adoption or are engaged in foster care just because our kids do really crave routine and normalcy and structure and all those sorts of things because many of them find it really hard to do that for themselves and that's a journey that we continue to be on. And so this season becomes a little bit like throwing gasoline on a fire just because of the change in rhythm, but also just the assault on the senses that Christmas, you know, Christmas brings. And you just have to reflect a little bit, I think, to think about the contrast of what we experience every year during the Christmas season, from, you know, from the actual advent and and from the the world that Jesus was born into and the humility of that, and and that that in the midst of what we turn into a circus and we put so much emphasis on, Jesus came really quietly and was had every right to all the hoopla, had every right to all the attention, was the what should have been the object of the universe that he was that he was coming into his creation, yet He was born humbly and He was born in a manger and He was, yes, recognized by kings, but recognized by kings who were trying to stay under the radar of the establishment and did it in a way that they were very covert about their, you know, their acknowledgment, their worship of Jesus.

And it's just you know, I think that has to that really has to affect and influence us a little bit as we, you know, as we stop and think. And I would just really advocate to families that in the midst of all the craziness that we experience, to try to strive for a little bit of simplicity, because you hit the nail on the head when you set things up. The real importance of all of this is the end of the story. The beginning of the story is awesome and it says so much about who Jesus is and we understand the miracle of his birth, but the ultimate end of the story is the thing that we probably celebrate the least and we need to focus on the most and it's the fact that the story isn't complete yet. We know the end, we know what it's gonna be, we know, you know, a little bit about a new heaven and a new earth and we know enough to be excited about it.

But the truth is that you and I are living in the middle of an imperfect Christmas right now because there's a day coming when when Jesus is gonna come back. And I think finding a way to celebrate that, you know, don't forget as you're telling the Christmas story on Christmas morning, to sprinkle into your reading of that or you're talking about that, that the story doesn't end at the manger, the story ends when Jesus establishes his kingdom. It doesn't even end on the cross and it doesn't end in the empty tomb. And, you know, that's something to focus on and something to celebrate. But I think particularly with kids that come from hard places, the ultimate security that we need to be pointing them to is that there's a day coming when Jesus is going to show himself fully, completely, and is going to, you know, banish all the things that they've been hurt by and banish all the things that they've been scared by and all the things that they maybe continue to still struggle with being scared of.

And we need to focus our Christmas on that, you know, to some degree. So that's kinda where my head's at. Maybe that's a little heavy, you know, maybe that's that's a little, you know, a little weighty for for for Christmas, but, yeah, that that I I think and and that that's not that's heavy, but it's also incredibly exciting. Without rambling too much, I'll I'll just throw this last little nugget in and and so, please direct your direct your cards and letters to herbynewell@lifelinechild.org. But but I think, you know, I think in the middle of what we've just come through in an election season where, you know, people may be really, really excited or they may feel really, really disappointed and and there's there's a lot of complexity and but the the thing that we can all agree upon in an election season is that we're all tempted to put our hope in who the people are that that we bring into office or we're tempted to despair because of the people that, you that we bring into office.

And so we have a unique opportunity this Christmas season to be reminded in the middle of all that that that's not where our hope is. And and that our hope is squarely in Jesus and that and that we don't have to worry because we can see so much of what God's already done. And God did that so that we can be confident in what he's about to do. And so what a what a beautiful, you know, beautiful thing that we get to to be the benefactors of this Christmas.

You know, as you just, were doing what you do so well in pontificating there, doctor Rick, It it really did make me think of one of our favorite children's bibles or bible paraphrases for children for Ashley and my family and one that has been just a a huge a huge meaning to us as a family is the Jesus storybook bible. And I love how Sally Lloyd Jones begins the Jesus storybook bible in her introduction, and it and it really does, I think, sets up a lot of what you said when it says, no, the Bible isn't a list of rules or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all a story. It's an adventure story about a young hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It's a love story about a brave prince who leaves his palace, his throne, everything to rescue the one he loves.

It's like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life. You see, the best thing about this story is it's true, and there's lots of stories in the Bible, but of all the stories, they're telling one big story, the story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them. It takes the whole Bible to tell this story, and at the center of the story, there's a baby, And every story in the Bible whispers his name. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle, the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together, and suddenly, you can see a beautiful picture. I I I really as I as I think even of just how apropos and how well that was written, I think it's so important that as those that are living on this side of the cross, in a lot of ways, we miss the tension of the 400 years of silence between the exile and the coming of Christ.

We we miss the the 40 years wandering in the wilderness or looking for the promised land. We we we miss the not just even the tension, but the passage of time of all of these waitings and these longings and these groanings because we read it and we can read it in a sitting as opposed to really feeling the time and the expectation. And I know we we joke around a bit about your age, but, you know, doctor Rick, I do think that you've got a vantage point for for many families that are walking through not just parenting, but also adoptive parents that are looking going, will this ever end? Will this stage ever end? Will my child ever, you know, really begin to accept our family?

Will will will our child really begin to adjust? And it's in those longings that we want instant solutions. But if we look even at the Christmas story, not just as a parallel to our adoption journey, but even to our spiritual journey, God is not a God of instantaneous we we love the instantaneous stories of the blind Bartimaeus being able to see, the lame man being able to walk, but what we even miss in those moments is that blind Bartimaeus had been blind for at least 30 or 40 years. He'd been waiting. The the man that was that lame at the pool of Shiloham had been as as the gospels tell us, lame since birth.

There was a a waiting for that instantaneous healing. What is the gift that you've learned, I guess, along the journey of the waiting and the being present in the moment, even the moments that might be a little bit difficult, a little bit challenging, or a little bit hard?

You know, I think it it's probably that learning in the rearview mirror that I I wish I'd been more present in some of those moments and that I can't believe now that I, you know, even, you know, missed some of that. And and I think I think also, you know, Herbie, I think back to to something that Denise said to me in our our very first adoption. So we we were when we brought Eric home, we actually met him for the first time on Thanksgiving Day of 2003. So Thanksgiving kind of takes on a, you know, like a whole different significance just because of what the Lord accomplished there, but we had some complications in our process and some things didn't really go well, they didn't really go right. And we had some uncertainty and there were some days in the middle of that where I wanted, like, I wanted quick.

I wanted somebody to do something. I wanted to, you know, I wanted I wanted somebody to fix it. And relatively, you know, in the grand scheme of history it happened really quickly, honestly, it did get fixed really quickly. But it didn't get fixed quickly enough for me. And you know, as an American with and somebody who just frankly and, you know, we can both just kind of laugh about this, but because you function a little bit similarly, As an American who, likes people and knows people and has relationships, you know, when when there's when there's a problem or a crisis, my first inclination is probably not to stop and pray, it's to pick up the phone and text or call and try to figure out, you know, who I know and and what I can do to get people involved.

And and so the Lord's have disciplined a lot of that out of me over the years, and it started a lot in that, you know, sitting in a hotel room in in Chernobyl, Ukraine with a problem that I had no ability to be able to fix and a timeline that was really uncertain. And I remember one night I was we were laying in bed watching a little 13 inch television watching Curling in Russian. There was nothing else on TV. And it was just basically, it was just bowl gun for the brain because I was just distraught and, quite frankly, didn't think that our adoption might happen. And I'm over there just fuming and plotting and trying to figure out what to do.

And my sweet wife, who is by far the prayer warrior in our in our family and and the one who has been an incredible example to me, just looked at me in the middle of all that and started laughing almost hysterically to me. She just and she just got tickled. And finally, she looked at me and she said, this is killing you, isn't it? And I kinda said, yeah. I was I was pretty upset.

And and she said, you just you're staring straight into the face of the fact that there's nothing you can do. And and we sat there and talked for a few minutes and, you know, it was a it was a really really poignant reminder and perhaps the first time in my life that I'd been in a position where I felt absolutely completely helpless. But here's the reality, man, we're always helpless. We think you know, I've heard you tell the story so many times about Caleb with his little plastic lawnmower following you around in the yard and acting like he was doing something while you were cutting the grass and about how proud he was of himself for all the work that he'd done in in pushing around his little plastic mower. And the reality is that's us.

And and we think we're so integral and we think we're doing so much and and and truly the Lord calls us to do that. Like, that's the work he's given us to do just like plays the work of our kids. And so, like, that's a long way around to say to you. A lot of what I've learned in the long run is that our job is is faithfulness to what the Lord's put in front of us, it's faithfulness to him, it's to do the very dead level best we can to seek the help and the healing that we need for our kids and to bring the resources to bear and all that sort of stuff and and to disciple them the best way we know how with the best tools we can find. But at the end of the day, we have to trust the Lord and we have to trust we have to trust him to do what he does and what he what only he can do.

Because when I look at my kids, when we, you know, we gather for Christmas and and when, you know, when we get the privilege of of spending time with our 3 adult kids that all came home through adoption, and our granddaughter who's a product of that, and just get to see all that God has done. And he's not done by a long shot. And our lives or in the lives of our kids or, you know, we we haven't arrived and we're not complete. But but when you catch those glimpses with your kids who are grown ups and and you see what the lord has done and how far they've come and and and and and get to focus on what's on what's been accomplished, not what is yet to be accomplished. Yeah.

That's kinda that's kinda where I I hate it because of me, man. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just I'm thankful to have been able to be a part of that.

And, I mean, I think as you you talk about being thankful to be a part, we really do miss sometimes, I think, in our busyness the joy of the journey. And, you know, I think that's you know, not to get sappy or sentimental, but I I think that's one of the reasons that our family really enjoys Advent and Christmas time so much. It's not the trappings of the season as much as it is the the process of reflection, appreciating the journey, and really just being able to to celebrate and be together, to celebrate what the Lord has done and to do it together in a in a slower time, in a time of great reflection. And, you know, I know for our family, as we just draw near to this even Christmas day, one of our favorite things about Christmas day is just the slowness of the day. It is one of the most, for us at least, slow days, but yet enjoyable days where we really get to be together as a family, but also where we are so undistracted to be able to think about the gifts that the lord has given throughout the year, the gift he's given in Christ Jesus, the reflecting of of how grateful we are, but also just the opportunities of relationships that he's given us, the people that we know, the the lives that are changed, even being able to reflect to see the families that have been built, the families that have been restored, the people that have been touched, and to really reflect and to draw near on that.

I think as we, you know, get a week away from Christmas day, doctor Rick, you know, what are some ways that families, especially families in at every stage, young families that Christmas day is a little chaotic, to families with maybe more teenagers where it's a little bit more low key, to maybe even where you are where it's a lot low key. What are some ways that as as parents, we can really begin to lead our children to reflect on what Christmas is all about and the coming of Christ and the reality of what that means for us, not just on Christmas day, but throughout the year. Yeah.

Part of it is is, I think, you know, focus on and realizing that it's what you said earlier. It it's the fact that that we we live in such an instant society, we live, you know, everything is instant gratification, we're always looking to do things quicker and more efficiently and, you know, we for goodness sakes, I mean, we're at the point now that we're, you know, we're relying on computers and devices and things to do everything for us and all we want is more of them to do more so that we, you know, we can find ourselves doing less to some degree. And I think in the middle of that, to find ways to cultivate the idea that God is God is at work in this world and He's at work in us and that all of that takes time. That, you know, Christmas and this season and the especially the week between Christmas and New Year's because that's generally for most of us a really, you know, kind of low key downtime. For us, even now, it's like, we probably get more time with our kids in that week than we do in a lot of other months just with everybody's busyness and schedules and running and, you know, whatever and they're, you know, like they're kind of doing their own thing and they have their own life.

And so, time is precious. It's a really great time, but it was a really great time when they were when they were little as well to kind of stop and focus on how they had grown over the course of a year to see, you know, to kind of reflect on milestones and things that they had walked through and things that they had achieved, but to really focus on thankfulness and on God's role and God's activity in that. When you acknowledge those milestones, you're not just talking about stuff that your kids do, but you're also talking about, you know, God's plan and God's order and things that the Lord's accomplished in them and what because they can now do something that they couldn't do before or because they've, you know, because they've crossed over a milestone and, you know, like a driver's license or something like that, they've been given a privilege and they've been given an opportunity and they, you know, and they earn that on some degree, but it's also a recognition of the fact that God is at work and that the process that the things that God has set into motion are coming true.

And that's the character of who our God is. It's everything that you said about what Sallie Lloyd Jones said in the beginning of The Jesus Storybook Bible, and it's funny you say that too because honestly that has continued to be a thing that, you know, we have used always and will, you know and so, like, simple things, like, you know, I alluded to it earlier, but I think, like, you know, every every Christmas morning, one of the things we do in the midst of everything else is we stop and, you know, and we read, you know, we read the Christmas story. Well, that can either be something that's really just kind of perfunctory and you go through it and you do it and you go through the motions and it's just like one of those boxes you have to check, or it can be a time that you really slow down and, like, you think about all that all that the Lord did in order to step out of heaven and to be in the middle of our mess, like, how grateful we are for that and and about what that's what that's brought and what that's the fruit that's created in our lives this year or or the promise of the fruit.

You know, and so we spend some time, you know, sitting around talking about what are we thankful for, what is it that Jesus has accomplished, and and how are we seeing the, you know, the fruit of that? What's, you know, what's the Lord doing in your life? And those are those are fun things. Like, what are the what are the gifts that you're able to unwrap as a as a person because of what Jesus has done? It's really simple, honestly.

Yeah. You know, the simplicity of that too, very similarly, we have for years read the Jesus storybook Bible, really the whole nativity experience, you know, outside on the stairs of our home or not inside on the stairs of our home with our kids before we do anything, and it's just a recognition that this is what this day is about and any gifts that we receive, anything else that we get is, as you say, it's it's God's common grace, but it's also a reflection, a dim reflection of the the gift that's so much greater that the Lord has given us. And so just a just a simple reminder that I would, you know, as doctor Rick would agree, I would encourage all families, if if it's not already a part of your Christmas tradition, to make sure that you are reading from God's word or from a paraphrase of God's word, the the miraculous of what we're really there to celebrate, and that the gift of family and the gift of of families that believe is because of the gift of Christmas. And, you know, I I I think we would be remiss, if we didn't even, as we're wrapping up this podcast, to to look at all of the themes that that Lifeline's ministry defends or to see their biblical root really at Christmas.

The biblical root of everything that we do at Lifeline is right there at Christmas. I I even think of Luke chapter 1. Mary has been visited by the angel Gabriel and told that she is highly favored and that she is with a child and that the most high has come upon her. And if you can imagine being, what, 14, 15, maybe 16 years old and being told by an angel and, again, not the angel like on the Charmin commercials or the, the one floating in the clouds, but a warrior of light, that you are you have been endowed with the savior of the world. You know, Mary, you know, has great faith and even, you know, says, I'm the servant of the Lord.

Let it be done to me according to your word. But as evangelicals, we believe that Mary was not sovereign or deity. She was flesh and blood, and, doctor Rick, I know you and I would agree as flesh and blood humans that have been endowed with lots of faith. I mean, I really do believe God can do the impossible. There's still that that conflict of belief that happens, and you have to believe that Mary went through a conflict of belief, but yet, by god's grace, it says in those days, Mary arose and went into haste, this is Luke 139, into the hill country to a town of Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth.

And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby, which was John the Baptist in Elizabeth's womb, leaped in Elizabeth's womb. Elizabeth was filled with the holy spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb. How about that for confirmation of faith that that the Lord uses Elizabeth and these 2 barren pregnancies to bring forth life, right, but also to bring forth confirmation. And the thing that I just wanna see is if a baby in the womb has enough presence of mind to know that the savior of the world has entered in another womb, we have to believe that babies in the womb are fully human, fully capable, and, therefore, yes, they are dependent upon their mother until so many weeks gestation, but what newborn baby is not dependent upon its mother and its its parents for survival in the first I mean, doctor Rick, you may say in the first 30 years of life. Right?

But for sure in the first years of life, the this there's a pro life ethic in the Christmas story of realizing that life begins at conception, that life is knit together by God, it's placed in the womb by God, and therefore, it is sacred, and and life in the womb needs to be protected. But then as we continue on in the Christmas story, of course, we know that that Joseph has to have this conflict of belief. He is in he is betrothed, been promised, or married to become his wife, as many have have taught and know in Jewish time to have consummated that marriage physically before the time of betrothal would would mean stoning, it can mean death, it was, you know, this was a people like to talk about the purity culture of the the nineties, doctor Rick, but this was a this was a totality of purity culture. You kept your distance, and yet, not only does Joseph choose grace and mercy for Mary's life, but he determines himself to step into her brokenness. And, again, she wasn't broken, the holy spirit was upon her, but in society, she was broken.

She blew outcast. And he steps into that outcast in order to provide a family and a home, and and you see in in in Matthew's account that and I love it that, you know, the wise men come, Joseph has in a dream, and what does he do? He protects his family. In verse 13 of of Matthew chapter 2, in the dream, he sees an angel of the lord says, rise, take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt and remain there until I tell you for Herod is about to search for the child and destroy him, and he rose. He took the child and his mother by night and departed Egypt and remained there to the death of Herod.

This was to fulfill what the lord had spoken by the prophet. Out of Egypt, I called my son. Joseph taking the mantle of adopted dad, protecting Mary, protecting Jesus, protecting that family, and, of course, we know in Jewish culture, a single woman would have been someone without protection, without a defense, without, standing in society, and yet Joseph stands up for Mary, but he also stands up for Jesus and protects the family. Adoption, caring for the vulnerable, life beginning at at conception, all right there in the Christmas story. And I think we need to remember and know that God's mandate, not just in November or on sanctity of human life Sunday, but throughout the year, is to remind us to care for the vulnerable woman, the vulnerable child, and to ultimately wrap around with our family because this is the heart of God and this is the gospel.

So what closing thoughts do you have to close this out before we end this podcast for today, Doctor. Rick?

Well, I just think just to kinda extend what you were just saying is is that we remember that our our care for orphan vulnerable children, our care for vulnerable women, our mindfulness of adopting foster families. Like, all these things that we do are ultimately showing aspects of the gospel story and putting those things on display in our lives. And and what you and I get to do is we get to use those things as opportunities to be able to testify to the reality of who Jesus is and the authenticity of his work and to point people toward the life that can only be found in him. And so, you know, as we think about fulfilling all those roles, you have to sort of be challenged by the reality that that those those roles can also be fulfilled and not focus on the gospel, and we don't ever hardly, like like, we don't wanna be guilty of doing that.

Yeah. A 100%. And I think it's a reminder of why the gospel is so important and that we are not called as believers to simply care for children, but we are called to bring the gospel to bear because it's it's only the gospel that can truly change and reorient lives, that can make a a lasting difference. And so it's a reminder, that we are here to equip the body of Christ to manifest not ourselves, but the gospel of Christ Jesus to orphans, vulnerable children, and vulnerable women. So from doctor Rick and I, we wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wanna let you know that there will be no episode released on Christmas day for the Defender podcast, not even a best of. Instead, we want you to have a Merry Christmas with your families to enjoy the season. And, hopefully, you've been able to check out our Advent podcast. They've been released every Sunday, drawing up to Christmas day. The final Advent podcast will be released this Sunday on both of our platforms, the Defender podcast, as well as the defender bible study.

If you haven't subscribed to the defender podcast or the defender bible study, please do that today so you don't miss an episode, but you also help us make sure that this content gets out to more people. Again, from both the infamous silver haired, silver tongued one, doctor Rick and I, Merry Christmas and spend a great time and a great day with family celebrating the coming of a savior.

Thanks for listening to the Defender Podcast. If you enjoy making this podcast a part of your weekly routine, we'd love for you to take a moment to subscribe, rate, and review the Defender Podcast to make it easier for more people to find. For more information on how you and your church can partner with Life Line, visit us at lifelinechild.org. If you want to connect with me, please visit herbynewell.com. Follow us at lifeline on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter by searching for Lifeline Child.

You can email us directly at info at lifelinechild. Org. Beloved, will you allow god to use the gospel to you to impact the life of a child? Please contact us because we are here to defend the fatherless. We'll see you again next week for the Defender podcast.